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Why I Didn't go dancing last night...
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| (Tuesday, 26 June 2007) Written by GregJWillis |
Why I Didn't Go Dancing..... Put the kettle on...
Why I Didn't go Dancing Last Night - Part 1 The base of my thumb is throbbing - sort of a dull pain that reminds me there will be a bruise there later… thankfully my ankle isn't as bad as I first thought, and the pain has nearly disappeared. 16:00 - I spent yesterday afternoon with the patio doors open a warm breeze circulating the kitchen whilst I concentrated (well sort of) on the end of month financials. The good thing about by wireless setup is that I can have my home PC connected to the internet at the same time as my laptop - doing searches - downloading music..Etceterra etcetera (is that the sound of music creeping in ?)Anyways - the financial system crashed at 16:15 which gave me a chance to "plan" my evening - dancing I thought … 3 mins on salsa jive and I'd caught up on the latest about Joe, what's on this weekend... and what classes are available on a Wednesday…Yeovil – nah Bridgwater – lets not go there, Weston – Nah, Bristol – No ….Swindon I thought - new club re-opening "Moonrakers"… added Postcode into my phone ready to transfer into Di (affectionate name for my Sat Nav- Di RECTIONS – get it ??)… I had a plan - I was happy.. Time to clear up… Kitchen tidy - lounge tidy (moving the odd clothes and a cheap Tesco’s value coat hanger onto the stairs to take up later) - Clean downstairs loo and vacuuming Later…. My new car is coming with an iPod adapter - cheaper than a 6 disc changer it allows me to plug in my iPod into the cup-holder area and access the playlists from the "multi-function" steering wheel… well it would if I actually HAD an iPod… so in preparation I thought I'd download iTunes so that when I eventually get an iPod I will have all my music ready to transfer… Much Later… one of the "features" of iTunes is that it allows you to display an album cover of the music you are listening to - If it recognises the music it can even get the graphic for you and display it.. Cool… apart from it only found about 40% of my music … This is where the Virgoean (is that a word) in me abandoned all reason… I HAD TO FIND EVERY ALBUM COVER from somewhere (Google/Amazon/eBay) and import… It was a quest that I couldn't stop… Much Much Later… I had finished … I felt good ….but not proud…. But despite what you may think …. This is NOT the reason why I didn't go Dancing Last Night Quick bath and I was ready to go…. Why I didn't go Dancing Last Night - Part 2 NO POPCORN!!… you would think that any place hiring DVD's would have popcorn - if not Butterkist toffee ...then a plain bucket of something - even if it does taste like parcel packing.But no…. Not in my local "Smile".. BTW why do these places smell like someones just spilt a bottle of TCP on the floor ? Brace yourself... Things started to go down hill at this point - (this is still about why I didn't go dancing last night)… The staff in my local Smile are young - young and foreign (Tanya according to her faded name badge) - young , foreign and slow… not slow in a retarded way - slow because they have better things to do than to do their job… like talk to each other - or text/call their boyfriends - (who happen to be outside on the modern equivalent of BMX's)... or they are making themselves "pretty" nails, hair.. etcetera etcetera (Crikey I am Yull Bryner)The girl in last night was doing none of these things… She was in the Isle stacking shelves... (Not popcorn mind) singing… NO Shouting… NO Wailing to "Linkin Park" on the Radio (music that is being piped into the store), only it was sung in broken English - sort of Eastern European Porno style, where you think its English but cannot make out the words… Disappointed with no popcorn I had found an alternative in Chilli Nuts (wanted honey roast but non of them either …tut) and a packet of Libenz Biscuits (you know the ones - quaint pictures of Swiss mountain scenes (goats , mountains, farm labourers) made in chocolate over hanging a very crisp thin biscuit.. LUSH..I also hired 2 DVD's "Envy" a comedy with Jack Black and Ben Stiller and "Nicolas Cage is … The Weatherman". Later…. Both of these films were in the "Comedy" section both films had famous actors in them… I only had the time to watch one last night so chose "The Weatherman", now I like Nicolas Cage - he can do drama, comedy, he is particularly good at melancholy - If Nicholas Cage was a dog he would be a blood-hound.. Sort of longing to be played with but you wouldn't want to get too close cos you'd get drooled upon… 20 mins into the film… OK - the scene had been set - "Separated, unhappy Weatherman in Chicago, with dysfunctional family... awaits something good to happen"... for example... in "teen movie " Aquamarine watched with kids on Tuesday within 10 minutes two lonely girls had already met the magical Aquamarine a beautiful teenage mermaid that had promised to give them a wish if they help her fall in love within 3 days… Easy to understand - feel good - American Pulp. My Nuts were gone and I was struggling to find my first smile let alone laugh - His daughter was obese and depressed and turned to smoking and stealing - due to being called "Camel Toe" at schoolHis son was being abused by his counsellorHe was obsessed with his ex-wife - wanting to "try again"Flashbacks of previous arguments..He takes up archery and dreams of killing his ex-wife new partner.. I was on my 2nd biscuit when I realised that; A) These biscuits are a copy of the real thing found in proper supermarkets (probably smuggled in by Tanya's parents... last time they visited their family in Krakow)B) This is NOT A COMEDYC) Chilli Nuts go with nothing At this point the film turns a dark corner… his father (Michael Caine) develops a terminal illness and decides to have a living funeral… soon after the living funeral they have the real thing.. Oooh 2 funerals in this comedy !!! As you can imagine sides were splitting at this pointHe lands a job in New York and lives there - visiting kids at weekends End of Film I now understand why this was not in the "Top Title" section and only cost £1.50 to hire. I went to bed- cheated, hungry, and wishing I watched Envy (is that Irony?)…
01:20 Chilli Nuts make you thirsty… FACT It was no good had to go and find a drink from somewhere… no nothing upstairs I could drink half finished apple juice sprite, water... so downstairs in the dark… Half asleep… "Hmm Milk, Apple Juice Summer Fruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu…." Who the F*** left that coat hanger there… ================================================================================================ It's okay... my hand broke the fall.. and my ankle isn't that twisted…As I lay awake - not being able to sleep through the throbbing in my hand I planned today’s email… Why I REALLY didn't go Dancing Last night As I had a bath and was thinking about what to wear two things popped into my head… · I had left my Wallet and Insurance details in the Office· I was supposed to call the AA out about my lights Not having a wallet was OK - Salsa evenings are hardly expensive affairs - and I had £20.. But lights… I'd need them… I swapped cars with Fred (work colleague) at lunchtime so I had the Polo back - unfortunately - both headlights were now broken (one had gone the last time he took my car)… I was meant to call the AA out but had forgotten (bloody iTunes)… there was no way I can drive anywhere without lights… It was then I decided to have a night in with a good Film… hmmm you now know the rest… Appendix All good stories need an Appendix - somewhere to put some of the unanswered questions... Not only did Freds car acquire a half eaten sandwich in Bridgwater - it also acquired slightly bent wing mirror and 2 scratches down the passenger door ! Don't worry, I've smoothed this over with Fred - I sort the lights he sorts out the scratches… As I limped into the Smile shop this morning and handed the DVD 's over the counter I pushed down on the case so I could read the words on the Disc… Nicholas Cage is "The Weatherman" and underneath the strap line "A Comedy to Brighten up your Day"…
As I left the shop I looked up… It had clouded over.
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